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Anyone with insomnia may tell you what’s on television in the early morning hours. Other than old sitcom reruns, there are those dreaded infomercials. Most of the infomercials I have seen either publicize a great deal of crazy exercise program or a new cooking gadget. Companies that put together infomercials are marketing geniuses. Otherwise, how else could they convince you to buy a reusable bag that allows you to cook an entire meal in your microwave? If you watch any of these infomercials closely, you will see the same formula…over-hype and over-sell. If you are thinking regarding retail your product through an infomercial, I will provide you with the winning formula. Here is what you will need to give rise to your own infomercial: Washed Up Actor or a Reality TV Star Find the guy who played the friend of some neighbor on numerous old sitcom that went off the air a great deal of years ago. Of course, former pornography and American Idol stars will also work if you can’t find the guy who played the milkman on Seinfeld. You may in all likelihood find a grade B spokesperson for the price of a dinner at an all-u-can eat restaurant. With the exception of the Olsen twins, I think the rest of the cast from Full House is available. Overhype Your Product Tell the viewer how great your product is and then tell them again and again. For example, say things like “The super sausage maker is the biggest invention in the world because experts who like sausage have said so.” The greatness of the product must not be indicated less than 30 times per half hour episode. Hire a Great Audience You ought to have a convincing audience. They ought to shout, yell and then throw out an ooh and an aah each few seconds after the host starts mentioning product features. The audience will have to also clap each few minutes and be wide-eyed all around the entire infomercial. Freebies Offer all kinds of freebies. You must interrupt the infomercial with the illfamed “But wait, there’s more” line. If somebody buys your product, be sure to throw in a free gift and a particular refrigerator magnet for good measure. Money Back Guarantee Always offer a cash back guarantee – minus the cost of shipping. Just make sure you build the cost of your product into your shipping cost so you won’t be out any cash when the refund requests start out rolling in. The next time you determine to give rise to the latest sausage maker, imagination hair clip or contraption that may give you a six pack stomach, do not forget these retail tips. Forget when it comes to the newspaper ads and coupons… just go with the infomercial. You will be doing all of the insomniacs a favor because we all need something to watch at 2 a.m. when we can’t sleep. |
